Wesley’s Personal Blog

My friend Jonobie said at the end of her most recent blog post to consider myself tagged on this one. So I am considering myself tagged.

Instead of doing the 5 greatest heroes, I’m going to start with the earliest memory of a “hero” or a good guy or at least a main character, and go up from there. So, these aren’t necessarily the 5 greatest heroes, and they aren’t necessarily the 5 earliest heroes in my life, but I think this list will be a fair combination of the two.

1. Han Solo - I saw Star Wars in the theater, and even though it’ll prove that I’m not actually 30 like I always say I am, I will tell you that I was 6 at the time. I obviously don’t remember that much from the movie, but I remember a bit, and one of the things I remember from that first viewing was that Han Solo had a big, hairy friend. I wanted a big, hairy friend. As I aged, and watched Star Wars again, I realized that Han Solo was the most ass-kicking good guy available to my as-yet limited exposure to fiction. He wasn’t the hero. He wasn’t the farmboy-turned Jedi. He wasn’t the royalty figure who’d lost her… everything. He wasn’t the wizened teacher. He was the guy with the gun and the ship, and the total lack of desire to be included in the action. He was the one who thought not with his big head or his little head, but with his pocketbook. Rescue the princess? Never! For a reward? Now we’re talking. But in the end, our soft-hearted rogue came through, and it changed his life forever. It’s easy to be a hero when your family (or your entire planet) is dead. but when you’re high-tailing it out of the system with a cargo bay full of credits? Yeah. That’s a hero to me.
2. Indiana Jones - I make no apologies for Harrison Ford being on this list not only twice, but as the first two entries. Just feel lucky that Decker’s not on the list too. Indiana Jones oozes hero. He gets punched. He falls down. He gets dragged behind cars, shot, burned, and left for dead in a pit of snakes. But he never, EVER gives up. He doesn’t even consider it. When he’s bloody, burnt, staggering, and has moments before his girlfriend will be consumed by fire, and a big bald guy with treetrunk arms forces him into an unfair fist fight, Indiana Jones merely sighs, resolves himself, and steps into the fray.
3. Groo - Back in my youth, I was mildly addicted to a couple comic book series, and none were more addictive than Groo the Wanderer. Groo was not a smart man. It was just slightly possible that he wasn’t actually a man at all, as he lacked the cranial capacity to survive in the modern world of whatever BC year it was in the comics. But survive he did, mostly at the whim of a veritable smorgasbord of characters who would use Groo’s one skill - his unerring ability with the two Katana swords he always had strapped to his back - for their own ill purposes. In the end, though, Groo would always put it right, or at least destroy everything in the vicinity so nobody profited off of him. Then, usually, he would flee the area as the villagers chased him with torches and pitchforks. But he always meant well.
4. The Doctor - Jonobie put this one on her list, though she’s talking about the newest Doctor, and I want to talk about the older ones. I *loved* the Doctor in high school. He was smart, witty, brave, and never made a mistake. And he knew he wouldn’t. His sheer confidence was a thing to witness. I’m watching the show now as the DVDs come out, putting each one at the top of my Netflix queue as it is released. I have loved every one.
5. Vic Gentry - I won’t feel bad if you don’t know this name. I created this character in high school as kind of a mix of #2 and #3 on my list. He was a super-soldier type adventurer with one crippling flaw: Total lack of coordination and mental acuity. Looking back, I see that he was actually “Sci Fi Groo,” especially because his first appearance was in a comic that I drew instead of paying attention in class in my senior year. I don’t look up to Vic, but his effect on my life is unmeasurable. His story is the direct ancestor of the Crimson Lien, which is for a great part the reason for the existence of the Stargate Cafe. The Universe I built around Vic Gentry is the Universe that I spend my creative time in. It’s where the Crimson Lien flew in the podcast, and it’s where the Crimson Lien flies in the book I’m working on (Or not, but eventually I promise!). And Vic - in some form - is a part of that universe and eventually we’ll meet him. And trust me, this new Vic’s a hero in every sense.

Okay, now it’s my turn to tag people. You! You there, reading this. You’re tagged!

Wesley Films, Memes, Stuff, Writing

My friend Bob the Cynical Optimist posted a very interesting meme on his blog, and I figured I’d join in. The rules are simple, if a bit constricting:

• For the band name, hit Random on Wikipedia and use the title of the first article as your band name.
• For the album title, grab a random quote from The Quotations Page, and take the last four or five words from the last quote.
• Finally, for the album art, take the third picture on Flickr’s Explore the Last Seven Days page.

Take these 3 things and make your album, then describe the band and album, and finally link to where you got your “inspiration”

90’s punk-industropop trio Rheinisches Industriemuseum, who previously shunned any releases outside their homeland of Germany¹, this month unveiled their reunion album Action That Would Create It to every nation that would take it.
Over the past decade, the group fell from smash-success to has-been, and many have suggested that this newfound desire for increased distribution is a last-stab effort at fame, or at least enough money to make next month’s rent.
The album was produced on a shoestring budget and among those things that could have used a bit more care was the translation. It is currently unknown what the album title actually means, but it has been suggested that they originally intended it to be Buildings.

• Rheinisches Industriemuseum is actually the “Rhineland Museum of the Industry”
• The full quote is from Lois McMaster Bujold: His mother had often said, When you choose an action, you choose the consequences of that action. She had emphasized the corollary of this axiom even more vehemently: when you desired a consequence you had damned well better take the action that would create it.
• The picture (Of Seattle!) is called “Look Marge…its the City!” from WestonPhotography28

1. They even went so far as to sue Amazon for shipping their album Leinknostraad overseas [↩]

Wesley Memes, Stuff, Tunes

Apparently, all the kids these days are making up random facts about themselves which are not true, but are either interesting or plausible, or perhaps - if you’re lucky - both.

Here is my foray into this endeavor.

1. I can juggle knives. I don’t do it any more though since “the incident.”
2. I run an Entertainment/TV/Celebrity blog on the side, and it is my major form of income. When I stopped getting cable last November¹ I started making up everything on the blog. Readership is up over 575% since this time last year.
3. In Juarez, Mexico I am known as “El Escritor Cian” and the local policía have orders to apprehend me on sight. I don’t go there any more, which is a shame because it’s home to my favorite cantina.
4. I upgrade Wordpress every time a new version comes out.
5. If you tell me a month, day, and year, I can tell you what day of the week it was or will be. I even account for legislated calendar changes.
6. I have an irrational, crippling fear of being garroted. This is why you will never see me sitting with my back to anything but a wall².
7. I have gone to the bathroom - number two - every day at 8:57am for as long as I can remember.
8. I distill my own alcohol using my car’s engine as a heat source.
9. In 1989 I mentioned to my friend John how cool it would be to be immersed inside a video game so much that it was like you were actually there. He asked me what you could do in a game like that and I replied, “I don’t know, anything. Shoot Nazis, maybe.” That was the last time I ever saw Mr. Carmack and he’s never written back on any of the letters I’ve sent him asking for royalties.
10. My left thumb is actually a prosthetic. See fact #1
11. When the dog bites, when the bee stings, or when I’m feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don’t feel so bad.
12. I am having no trouble at all thinking up interesting facts for this list.
13. I have a small part in the 2003 film Zombie Cheerleader Ninja Apocalypse. 32:27 in I’m in the video store, and I get stabbed by the lead Cheerleader Ninja because she thinks I’m a Zombie. I’m not, I’m just returning a video. You can’t tell this in the movie because it happens so fast, but if you freeze frame it you can see that I’m holding a VHS tape.
14. I have perfect pitch.
15. I was mistaken for Wil Wheaton once. It was particularly embarrassing because I didn’t realize the person’s mistake for 10 full minutes because he thought Wil Weaton’s name was actually Wesley, and my memory is so poor³ that I thought maybe I knew him.
16. I coined the term “Doohickey” but when I used it, it had a sexual connotation.
17. The only caffeinated beverage I will drink is Diet Mountain Dew Code Red, and I prefer it with a twist of lemon.
18. I collect figurines of animals playing sports. I almost have an entire hockey team, but I’m trying to hold out for a badger goalie.
19. I buy two copies of every episode of classic Doctor Who as they come out on DVD. That way, I can keep one in the shrink wrap.
20. I have a YouTube account. Maybe you’ve heard of my online persona: Chris Crocker.
21. I have correctly picked - before the season starts - the winner of each Superbowl since 1987. I’ve never placed a bet though because my luck’s gotta run out some time.
22. On a particularly dark, clear night, I saw Neptune in my backyard telescope.
23. I wrote the song “Achy Breaky Heart” in high school for a girl that dumped me. I intended it to be a punk song, but lost the Trapper Keeper which contained the lyrics during a family vacation to Nashville.
24. I killed Laura Palmer
25. I DVR’d Firefly when it first ran, but never watched it until after it was canceled. Due to a glitch in my DVR’s software, the episodes got jumbled up so when I eventually did watch it I saw them in the correct order.

1. That’s actually true. Long live Hulu and Netflix on Demand! [↩]
2. That last part is actually almost true. I much prefer seeing the room to not [↩]
3. That part is, sadly, true. My memory is like a sieve riddled with bullet holes [↩]

Wesley Memes, Stuff